It’s true. Caffeine isn’t a drug—it’s a vitamin!!! And for your Friday Morning reading pleasure, here’s @seejayadams’ logical explanation of why this is so:
If you know me, then you know that I drink a lot of coffee. This means that I drink a lot of caffeine, which is very good thing because caffeine is a vitamin. You don’t believe me? I will prove it to you using the transitive property that I learned in Geometry class in 9th grade. Let’s begin…
The definition of a vitamin is simple: a group of organic compounds that are essential for normal growth and nutrition and are required in small quantities in the diet because they cannot be synthesized by the body.
Therefore, a vitamin must be three things: organic, essential, and required in small quantities. Caffeine is all of these things and so much more.
1. Organic: There is organic coffee in the world. There are also other organic products that are caffeinated, such as chocolate and tea. By the transitive property, caffeine is organic. Bam!
2. Essential: I cannot function without coffee. I am an angry person if I do not get to have my 4 cups of coffee in the morning, 2 cups in the afternoon, and 1 cup before bed. Seriously. That means that coffee is essential to my life. By the transitive property, caffeine is essential. Wham!
3. Required in Small Quantities: There are some things in life that are great in large quantities….like Reese Eggs. Other things, however, are not so great in large quantities….like coffee. If you have a trash can full of coffee, it is hard to drink. If you have it in a mug (which is a small vessel for containing small quantities), though, it is incredibly easy to drink. Coffee has caffeine. By the transitive property, caffeine is required in small quantities. Boom!
If you’re confused don’t be. This is a very high level of awesomeness that I just used. I really should have a Doctorate of Awesomeness. If you are reading this and have some sway at an institute of higher learning, could you please get me an Honorary Doctorate of Awesomeness? Thanks, friend!
Someone really should hook that guy up. He is clearly full of caffeinated awesomeness!
It’s Friday night! No snow yet here in San Francisco, but it did get a wee bit chilly. So, we’re staying warm with Chocolate Hazelnut Coffee. Yum!
C₈H₁₀N₄O₂ + C₂H₅OH + C₇H₈N₄O₂ FTW!
So, what’s in your cup?
Extensive field research has proven that coffee drinkers (and those who are caffeine fueled) are, in fact, superior in yet another way.
So, drink up my caffeine f(r)iends!
(Source: Flickr / missemilyr28)
via Karen Eland, @coffeepainter extraordinaire.
These days, many are still debating, is the Mona Lisa smiling or not? In Karen’s caffeinated version (painted entirely with espresso*), I don’t think there’s any question. She’s smiling, and it’s clear why. After all, don’t you smile every time a skilled barista hands you a lovely latte or elegant espresso?
On a related note: Whenever I receive a caffeinated concoction, I am filled with gratitude. As much as I love C₈H₁₀N₄O₂, I admire those who impart the blessing of energy to consume.
So, I’m curious… Do you ever thank your barista? If not, you should!
The Sisters of Perpetual Caffeination would like to remind you of this very important scripture:
Honor thy bean grower and thy barista, that thou mayest be longlived (or at least awake and alert) upon the land which the Java thy coffee bean will give thee.
With that said, be sure to express your appreciation the next time you get a chance. If you’re beans spilleth over with gratitude and you can’t wait for the next opportunity, feel free to leave a note about your undying love here.
* Note: The Sister’s of Perpetual Caffeination do not condone any form of caffeine abuse. Ordinarily, doing anything but consuming your espresso is highly frowned upon. (Suggested penance for simply carelessly spilling your coffee is 5 hail Javas!) But in this case, we think Karen’s endeavors are preserving the espresso in all its glory, to be honored and appreciated by the multitudes in the same caffeinated veins as our mission. So, in that light, we raise our coffee mugs to her caffeinated creations. c[_]
(via C₈H₁₀N₄O₂ + C₂H₅OH + C₇H₈N₄O₂!!! Oh…and bacon!
(Hrmmm…now I want caffeinated bacon…or a caffeinated maple-bacon lollipop.)
Just think how different (and amazing) your life would be if your New Year’s resolution had been to stick to this diet!?
We all know that decaf is bad for you. In fact, The Sisters of Perpetual Caffeination believe that drinking decaf is blasphemy! But, here is (fake)scientific proof for those that need yet another reason to steer clear of coffee’s evil twin:
For more fakescience, go here: http://fakescience.tumblr.com/
Organic, Fair Trade Coffee + Chocolate Chips + Sea Salt = Awaken Baked Caffeinated Cookie! Just got my hands on one of these from @CookieDept!
The Verdict? It is full of WIN!
Thumbs up to a CaffeineFueled follower who originally clued us in (Thanks naedesu!):
I like the idea of utilitarian desserts. This caffeinated cookie was just what I needed this afternoon!
I could just kiss the Cookie Department’s founder, Akiva Resnikoff, for creating this perfect balance of sweet and salty buzz…and I haven’t even had one of their “Sexy Cookies” which contains an actual aphrodisiac!
A quick perusal through their Yelp! reviews and you can see others feel the same way:
C is for Cookie.. and Chocolate… and Caffeine…. put them all together and you’ve got something that’s magically delicious. - (5 stars from Lee H.)
Dangerously good cookies. And when I say dangerous, I mean that they are so good you run the risk of eating waaaaaay more than your fair share.
My favorite so far (i know they are making new flavors) is the “Awaken Baked” chocolate chip cookie. It’s a great mix of the traditional chocolate chip cookie with premium coffee added to the mix. Subtle, but delicious. Not to mention the salt on top, what an unexpected treat for my taste buds. (5 stars from John M.)
If you’re in the Bay Area, I definitely recommend getting your hands and taste buds on these cookies. As for those of you who live outside of the Bay Area Bubble, feel free to give them a ring and see if they can hook you up! (Online ordering is still TBA).
For more info, check out: The Cookie Department